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我遇到一个人，他在应对许多批评时说：“事情就是这样！”他显然对自己的鉴别力很有信心。如果你质疑他，他会说：“但这是事实！”

但如果他说的是事实，那也不是在爱中说的。相反，他把真理当作一把火炬，灼烧任何与他擦肩而过的人。

在某些方面，他可能通过说诚实话遵守了神的律法，但当他不在爱中说话时，就违反了神的律法。

那么，我们如何知道自己是否在爱中说诚实话呢？

这里有一些在说话前的思考建议：

它会有帮助吗？说这话会带来好处吗？

有必要吗？我必须这样说吗？

它是有爱的吗？能否在基督里建立一个人？

这些都是我们应该寻求的目标。使徒保罗敦促我们“用和平彼此联络，竭力保守圣灵所赐合而为一的心”，（参弗 4:3）“建立基督的身体，直等到我们众人在真道上同归于一”。（参弗 4:12）保罗认为话语在某种程度上就像建材——这样我们就可以建造一座和平的房子。只有牢记这样的目标，我们才能说诚实话。

 I met a man who ended many of his criticisms by saying, “And that’s the way it is!” He apparently had great confidence in his own discernment. And if you challenged him, he would say, “But it’s true!”

But if he spoke the truth, it was not spoken in love. Instead, he used truth as a blow-torch, scorching anyone who crossed his path.

In some ways he might have kept God’s law by telling the truth, but he broke it when he did not speak in love.

So how do we know if we are speaking the truth in love?

Here are some considerations to make before speaking:

Is it helpful? Will saying this bring about good?

Is it necessary? Must I say this?

Is it loving? Will it build someone up in Christ?

These are the goals we should seek. The apostle Paul urges us to “keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace,” “so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity.” Paul sees words in a way like construction materials that can be used in building—so that we can build a house of peace. Only with such a goal in mind may we speak the truth.